Monday, March 15, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Possible Question #3
To what extent did Europeans nations allow or encourage private citizens to conduct trade during the time period from 1500-1800?
Possible Question #2
To what extent was the conquest of the New World due to the spread of smallpox?
Possible Question #1
Compare European involvement in three of the following regions during 1500-1911: The Americas, East Asia, South Asia, Africa.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
"hairy monglian women"
cast:
Khloe Kardashian as the time traveling monglian mustached women
Hannah Montana as the best friend
Lindsay Lohan as the one attracted to Khloe
Obama as the love interest
Story line:
Khloe is living her normal life in ancient monglian times when BAM! she is transfered into present times. Khloe finds herself in a trendy NYC club where none of the girls look like her...hairy in the face. She is standing alone unsure of what to do when an unsuspecting character walks up her thinking that she is a man. (Lindsay Lohan). Khloe doesnt know what to do or say to change this strange girls mind when a kind young girl walks up to save the day (Hannah Montana.) As Hannah was leading her away to safety from lindsay, Khloe spots the love of her life Obama. Hannah knew that Obama would never give Khloe a second or first look, so she told Khloe that she would help her get Obama. Hannah calls in all of her makeup and hair people to bring Khloe up to present day looks, and with that shaving of the mustache she had religiously grown in ancient times. Once she has gotten a clean shave Hannah has determined that she is ready for Obama.
Sara V Maddy L Maddy W
Forbidden Love
One sentence description: A movie about the forbidden love between a Chinese woman and a Mongolian solider.
Casting suggestions: Lucy Liu as Mandy Chow & The Rock as Bataar Khan
Myth: Bataar caught Mandy's eye by hitting an apple off a galloping horse from 200 yards away.
Scene: Mandy wakes up one sunny morning and looks out her window to see Bataar practicing with his bow and arrow. He hits an apple off the back of a moving horse from 200 yards away. She notices how handsome he is and immediately falls in love with him.
Longer version of the plot: Mandy Chow, a young Chinese woman, falls for a Mongolian soldier, Bataar Khan. Although their love is forbidden, they continue to see each other secretly. When the parents catch the two together, a fight breaks out. Both parents are killed in the cross fire. This allows for the star crossed lovers to be together. They live happily ever after.
Quote from packet 'The Mongol Era': "The gap between them and the Chinese was thus greater culturally to begin with and was more strongly perpetuated politically."
-Queen Elizabeth, Duncan Hines & Jackie Kennedy
Casting suggestions: Lucy Liu as Mandy Chow & The Rock as Bataar Khan
Myth: Bataar caught Mandy's eye by hitting an apple off a galloping horse from 200 yards away.
Scene: Mandy wakes up one sunny morning and looks out her window to see Bataar practicing with his bow and arrow. He hits an apple off the back of a moving horse from 200 yards away. She notices how handsome he is and immediately falls in love with him.
Longer version of the plot: Mandy Chow, a young Chinese woman, falls for a Mongolian soldier, Bataar Khan. Although their love is forbidden, they continue to see each other secretly. When the parents catch the two together, a fight breaks out. Both parents are killed in the cross fire. This allows for the star crossed lovers to be together. They live happily ever after.
Quote from packet 'The Mongol Era': "The gap between them and the Chinese was thus greater culturally to begin with and was more strongly perpetuated politically."
-Queen Elizabeth, Duncan Hines & Jackie Kennedy
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Mongolian Myths: What were they thinking?
Our movie (which we are actually making in Flash and will be completed within the next few days) tackles four Mongolian myths (one of which we found on our own). The myths are: they bathe in their own urine, drink horse blood, *they believe that giant death worms inhabit the Gobi Desert, and that all of the women had mustaches. There is no real plot to the story, it is pretty much 30-50 second scenes explaining each myth--in a comical way. The picture to the right of this description is the location of one of these scenes; can you guess which one? Only time will tell.
Alexander The Great and H.F. (Don't know his A.P. World name)
Friday, February 12, 2010
Mongolian Love Affair
One Sentence Description:
In a love affair between a man and a sheep comes the Mongolians.
Casting suggestions:
Andy Dick: product of sheep and man. Name:Genghis Khan
Bruce Willis: man who had the affair with a sheep. Name: Kublai Khan
Lucy Liu: Andy Dick's love affair. Name: Li Chih-Ch'ang
Myth:
Mongolians descended from a man and a sheep.
Scene:
"Li's view correspondingly, was less jaded than that of Confucian officials later on."
Genghis Khan is attracted to Li Chih-Ch'ang's intelligence and her bravery to stand up to the Confucian officials.
Longer Version of the Plot:
Genghis Khan doesn't know who his mother is so he goes on a quest to find her. On his journey he meets Li Chih-Ch'ang and falls in love with her creating the Mongolians.
-Dasha and Nicola
In a love affair between a man and a sheep comes the Mongolians.
Casting suggestions:
Andy Dick: product of sheep and man. Name:Genghis Khan
Bruce Willis: man who had the affair with a sheep. Name: Kublai Khan
Lucy Liu: Andy Dick's love affair. Name: Li Chih-Ch'ang
Myth:
Mongolians descended from a man and a sheep.
Scene:
"Li's view correspondingly, was less jaded than that of Confucian officials later on."
Genghis Khan is attracted to Li Chih-Ch'ang's intelligence and her bravery to stand up to the Confucian officials.
Longer Version of the Plot:
Genghis Khan doesn't know who his mother is so he goes on a quest to find her. On his journey he meets Li Chih-Ch'ang and falls in love with her creating the Mongolians.
-Dasha and Nicola
Mongolian Movie Pitch- SS and LD
One Sentence Description: Genghis Khan leads his army into Baghdad to invade the city.
Casting Suggestions:
Channing Tatum as Genghis Khan
Taylor Lautner as the Abbasid Caliphate
Myth: Mongolians drank the blood of their horses.
Scene: 10 miles outside of the city the Mongols run out of food and water, so they slay their horses and drink the blood before battle.
Longer Version of the Plot: Genghis Khan rallies his troops to conquer the land of Islam. He leads his armies toward Baghdad into battle. they encounter many obstacles, like lack of food. However, the Mongolian Army overcomes these obstacles and marches on the city. The battle is long and bloody. The culminating scene of the movie shows the Abbasid Caliphate, Lautner, surrendering the city to Kahn, Tatum.
-Stephanie Stein and Liz Doppelt
Casting Suggestions:
Channing Tatum as Genghis Khan
Taylor Lautner as the Abbasid Caliphate
Myth: Mongolians drank the blood of their horses.
Scene: 10 miles outside of the city the Mongols run out of food and water, so they slay their horses and drink the blood before battle.
Longer Version of the Plot: Genghis Khan rallies his troops to conquer the land of Islam. He leads his armies toward Baghdad into battle. they encounter many obstacles, like lack of food. However, the Mongolian Army overcomes these obstacles and marches on the city. The battle is long and bloody. The culminating scene of the movie shows the Abbasid Caliphate, Lautner, surrendering the city to Kahn, Tatum.
-Stephanie Stein and Liz Doppelt
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Mongorian Fiirm
One sentence description: Join the king of getting-his-family-back Harrison Ford as he embarks on a life threatening journey to save his daughter from prostitution.
Casting Suggestions:
Harrison Ford - As himself
Ford's witty sidekick - Curly of the Three Stooges
Doogey Howser, M.D. - Neil Patrick Harris (for some laughs)
Genghis Khan - Dick Cheney (seems to be well practiced in torture)
Ford's captured daughter - Scarlett Johansson (for obvious reasons)
Khan's sidekick - Chuck Norris
Myth: Mongols prostituterized? their daughters.
Scene: Ford and NPH are intently following recent footsteps left by Khan when Curly stubs his toe and exclaims: "Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo!", alerting Cheney to Ford's position.
Long Version: Soon after preparing sandwiches for Harrison Ford, NPH, and Curly, Johansson is captured by a grumpy Genghis Khan, who plans to sell her as a prostitute. Unfortunately for Mr. Khan, Ford wants his family back. NPH and Curly immediately agree to help Ford through his journey to get his daughter back, which will lead into an action-packed fight with Chuck Norris.
Quote: "Accordingly, upon the arrival of the caravan of merchants, and as soon as they have set up their tents for the night; those mother who have marriageable daughters conduct them to the place."
Casting Suggestions:
Harrison Ford - As himself
Ford's witty sidekick - Curly of the Three Stooges
Doogey Howser, M.D. - Neil Patrick Harris (for some laughs)
Genghis Khan - Dick Cheney (seems to be well practiced in torture)
Ford's captured daughter - Scarlett Johansson (for obvious reasons)
Khan's sidekick - Chuck Norris
Myth: Mongols prostituterized? their daughters.
Scene: Ford and NPH are intently following recent footsteps left by Khan when Curly stubs his toe and exclaims: "Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo!", alerting Cheney to Ford's position.
Long Version: Soon after preparing sandwiches for Harrison Ford, NPH, and Curly, Johansson is captured by a grumpy Genghis Khan, who plans to sell her as a prostitute. Unfortunately for Mr. Khan, Ford wants his family back. NPH and Curly immediately agree to help Ford through his journey to get his daughter back, which will lead into an action-packed fight with Chuck Norris.
Quote: "Accordingly, upon the arrival of the caravan of merchants, and as soon as they have set up their tents for the night; those mother who have marriageable daughters conduct them to the place."
Mongolians vs Egyptians
Plot:
A single squad of Egyptian soldiers is left to defend against the entire Mongol horde. They win miraculously. One of them decides to take a Mongol princess as his bride, only to discover that she has a mustache.
Cast:
Egyptian Soldiers: Taylor Lautner, Zac Efron, Michael Vartan
Mongolian Emperor: Fat Albert
Mongolian Soldier: Dora the Explorer
Mongolian Princess with Mustache: Paris Hilton
Myth:
Mongolian women have mustaches.
Scene:
Zac Efron lifts Paris Hilton's veil on their wedding day and sees finds that she has a mustache.
A single squad of Egyptian soldiers is left to defend against the entire Mongol horde. They win miraculously. One of them decides to take a Mongol princess as his bride, only to discover that she has a mustache.
Cast:
Egyptian Soldiers: Taylor Lautner, Zac Efron, Michael Vartan
Mongolian Emperor: Fat Albert
Mongolian Soldier: Dora the Explorer
Mongolian Princess with Mustache: Paris Hilton
Myth:
Mongolian women have mustaches.
Scene:
Zac Efron lifts Paris Hilton's veil on their wedding day and sees finds that she has a mustache.
Mongolian Movie Pitch
One sentence description: The Mongols invade Baghdad in a hilarious, animated film.
Casting Suggestions:
Will Farrel as the Mongolian General.
Britney Spears as Will Farrel's wife.
All Nickolodean characters as Mongolian army.
Zac Efron as Baghdad's general.
All other Disney characters as Baghdad's army.
Myth: The Mongols smell badly because they bathe themselves in urine.
Scene: The Mongols prepare for the worst, go through fierce training, bring their best weapons, but when they arrive in Baghdad, everyone, including the army, immediately runs away because they cannot bear the Mongols' smell. Zac Efron cries out, "They smell so heavily that one cannot approach them! They wash themselves in urine!"
Longer version of the plot: In the 13th and 14th centuries, the Mongols are trying to conquer the world. Will Farrel, the Mongolian general, targets Baghdad because his wife, Britney Spears, said Zac Efron is better-looking than him, who is the general of Baghdad. The Mongols prepare for the worst. However, upon entering the city, everyone runs away because the Mongols smell so badly. It is an easy victory.
~Mohammed and Nelson Mandela
Casting Suggestions:
Will Farrel as the Mongolian General.
Britney Spears as Will Farrel's wife.
All Nickolodean characters as Mongolian army.
Zac Efron as Baghdad's general.
All other Disney characters as Baghdad's army.
Myth: The Mongols smell badly because they bathe themselves in urine.
Scene: The Mongols prepare for the worst, go through fierce training, bring their best weapons, but when they arrive in Baghdad, everyone, including the army, immediately runs away because they cannot bear the Mongols' smell. Zac Efron cries out, "They smell so heavily that one cannot approach them! They wash themselves in urine!"
Longer version of the plot: In the 13th and 14th centuries, the Mongols are trying to conquer the world. Will Farrel, the Mongolian general, targets Baghdad because his wife, Britney Spears, said Zac Efron is better-looking than him, who is the general of Baghdad. The Mongols prepare for the worst. However, upon entering the city, everyone runs away because the Mongols smell so badly. It is an easy victory.
~Mohammed and Nelson Mandela
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Shaq and a sheep...
Description: Megan Fox, the first mongolian, is saved from aroused mongolian sibling Genghis Khan, played by Danny DeVito.
Fact: Mongolians were created when a man (Shaquille O'Neal) mated with a sheep (Ken Leung).
Cast:
Megan Fox
Danny DeVito
Shaquille O'Neal
Ken Leung
Russel Crowe
Scene:
Megan Fox emerges from her afternoon bath, when Genghis Khan arrives to pillage and take advantage of Megan Fox while she is exposed and alone. Russel Crowe, a Chinese woodland vagabond, intervenes and grapples with Genghis Khan.
Longer Version of the plot:
One day Shaquille O'Neal decides to venture out to find who next to battle on his show "Shaq Vs". His travels lead him to the Steppes, where he finds a strikingly attractive sheep, Ken Leung. The two are rendered incapable of parting, and from their passionate encounter produce the first Mongolian, Megan Fox. As she gets older, her parents further their love to produce a whole race. One man stands out above all the others as the strongest, Genghis Khan, played by Danny DeVito. Though he is Megan Fox's brother, he cannot resist her (its a step up from bestiality). One day during his daily pillage, he decides to take advantage of her while she is bathing. Just as he confronts her, Russel Crowe emerges from the woods (shirtless according to the request of one of our directors) and strikes him down. Underestimating Russel as a lowly chinaman, Genghis Khan challenges him to a fight. The two grapple until Russel pulls out a dagger and stabs him. He then turns to Megan Fox, who falls into his arms in gratitude. The two consummate their love and bring peace China and Mongolia.
"Overall, the Mongol era in world history had two results: it caused disruption and resentment, and it provided unusual, stimulating international contacts"
- King Arthur
Fact: Mongolians were created when a man (Shaquille O'Neal) mated with a sheep (Ken Leung).
Cast:
Megan Fox
Danny DeVito
Shaquille O'Neal
Ken Leung
Russel Crowe
Scene:
Megan Fox emerges from her afternoon bath, when Genghis Khan arrives to pillage and take advantage of Megan Fox while she is exposed and alone. Russel Crowe, a Chinese woodland vagabond, intervenes and grapples with Genghis Khan.
Longer Version of the plot:
One day Shaquille O'Neal decides to venture out to find who next to battle on his show "Shaq Vs". His travels lead him to the Steppes, where he finds a strikingly attractive sheep, Ken Leung. The two are rendered incapable of parting, and from their passionate encounter produce the first Mongolian, Megan Fox. As she gets older, her parents further their love to produce a whole race. One man stands out above all the others as the strongest, Genghis Khan, played by Danny DeVito. Though he is Megan Fox's brother, he cannot resist her (its a step up from bestiality). One day during his daily pillage, he decides to take advantage of her while she is bathing. Just as he confronts her, Russel Crowe emerges from the woods (shirtless according to the request of one of our directors) and strikes him down. Underestimating Russel as a lowly chinaman, Genghis Khan challenges him to a fight. The two grapple until Russel pulls out a dagger and stabs him. He then turns to Megan Fox, who falls into his arms in gratitude. The two consummate their love and bring peace China and Mongolia.
"Overall, the Mongol era in world history had two results: it caused disruption and resentment, and it provided unusual, stimulating international contacts"
- King Arthur
Mongolian Warrior
Romantic comedy, Mongolian warriors fight for the love of Cameron Diaz.
Cast:
Robert Downy Junior
Seth Rogan
Bruce Willis
Jackie Chan
Ken Jeong
Cameron Diaz
Samuel L. Jackson
Wee Man
Myth: Mongolians stacked the skulls of people that they killed
Scene:Cameron Diaz is rescued by Jackie Chan.Chan kills all enemy forces in his path. They both escape and Diaz is brought back to the Mongol camp.
Long version of the plot: Main character Jackie Chan allied with Ken Jeong and Wee Man fight opposing forces to protect their princess, Cameron Diaz. Diaz is said to be the most beautiful woman in the land. The opposing mongol warrior leader, Seth Rogan, summons a team of elite warriors to take down Jackie Chan and his empire. Rogan steals the princess Diaz during a surprise attack. Tensions rise in a full fledged battle royal.
"Mongol overlords were resented in most of their holdings, despite efforts by individual rulers, such as the famous Kublai Khan in China, to adapt to established political and cultural traditions."
-John Wilkes Booth and Che Guevara
Cast:
Robert Downy Junior
Seth Rogan
Bruce Willis
Jackie Chan
Ken Jeong
Cameron Diaz
Samuel L. Jackson
Wee Man
Myth: Mongolians stacked the skulls of people that they killed
Scene:Cameron Diaz is rescued by Jackie Chan.Chan kills all enemy forces in his path. They both escape and Diaz is brought back to the Mongol camp.
Long version of the plot: Main character Jackie Chan allied with Ken Jeong and Wee Man fight opposing forces to protect their princess, Cameron Diaz. Diaz is said to be the most beautiful woman in the land. The opposing mongol warrior leader, Seth Rogan, summons a team of elite warriors to take down Jackie Chan and his empire. Rogan steals the princess Diaz during a surprise attack. Tensions rise in a full fledged battle royal.
"Mongol overlords were resented in most of their holdings, despite efforts by individual rulers, such as the famous Kublai Khan in China, to adapt to established political and cultural traditions."
-John Wilkes Booth and Che Guevara
We are Mongolians
Cast:
Director-Roland Emmerich
Ghenghis Khan-Fred Savage
GK's horse-Rob Schneider
Song Emperor-Keanu Reeves
Ghengis Khan's best friends-Steven Segal and Jean Claude Vandame
Song General-Jon Cena
Aabasid caliphate-Wesley Snipes
Myth: Mongolians were cruel to the Chinese
Plot: Fred Savage and Rob Schneider lead the Mongolian army pillaging and conquering through China and other places. Then Keanu Reeves poisons Steven Segal, Fred and Rob must race against time to find the Song emperor who has the antidote. Fighting Jon Cena along the way. They then go on to rule the Chinese people very fairly. The evil Abasid caliphate provokes Genghis Khan and he is forced to attack.
Scene: Fred Savage and Rob Schneider chase Keanu Reeves all the way to Sparta, then Fred kicks Keanu Reeves in the chest knocking him into a bottom less pit.
Rob Schneider is about to find out that being Ghengis Khan's horse isn't so easy. Rated PG-13
~Charles Bronson and Chairman Mao
Director-Roland Emmerich
Ghenghis Khan-Fred Savage
GK's horse-Rob Schneider
Song Emperor-Keanu Reeves
Ghengis Khan's best friends-Steven Segal and Jean Claude Vandame
Song General-Jon Cena
Aabasid caliphate-Wesley Snipes
Myth: Mongolians were cruel to the Chinese
Plot: Fred Savage and Rob Schneider lead the Mongolian army pillaging and conquering through China and other places. Then Keanu Reeves poisons Steven Segal, Fred and Rob must race against time to find the Song emperor who has the antidote. Fighting Jon Cena along the way. They then go on to rule the Chinese people very fairly. The evil Abasid caliphate provokes Genghis Khan and he is forced to attack.
Scene: Fred Savage and Rob Schneider chase Keanu Reeves all the way to Sparta, then Fred kicks Keanu Reeves in the chest knocking him into a bottom less pit.
Rob Schneider is about to find out that being Ghengis Khan's horse isn't so easy. Rated PG-13
~Charles Bronson and Chairman Mao
Natural Born Mongols
Description: A documentary a la "Super Size Me" where one Mongolian man sees if he can live off of horse's blood for thirty days. Severe consequences ensue.
Plot: Set in present day Mongolia, Chinggis Rath is lead guitarist in Teppanyaki; a musical ensemble prevalent in Mongolia's underground jam band scene. His band wants nothing more than to become Mongolia's next "Nomin Talst" (Mongolia's leading rock/pop/new wave/techno band). However, Chinggis has not been able to keep up with the musical talents of his band mates, Anandyn Mason and Yumjaagiyn Emer. However, Chinggis is notified of a new contest sponsored by leading wool carpet corporation in Mongolia, Erdenet Carpet. Erdenet Carpet is willing to give $1 million tugriks to anyone who can successfully drink horse's blood for thirty days. Chinggis sees this as an opportunity not only to make money, but as the big break his band needs. Chinggis Rath begins drinking the crude blood of Mongolian horses. The venture is hard getting used to, however by Day 10, Chinggis is wailing on his guitar like a jingisukan on a traditional Mongolian barbecue grill. "What magical powers," Chinggis says of the blood. Teppanyaki begins to receive popularity amongst wide ranges of listeners in Mongolia. "We're finally getting the attention as Mongolia's top jam band that we deserve," Anandyn Mason says. "Thanks Chinggis. You're the best," Yumjaagiyn Emer tells him. However, by Day 24, Chinggis begins to feel the full effects of the horse blood. His playing becomes darker...his desire for horse blood is higher in demand...and it's not only horse blood that he yearns for. After thirty days of consuming the horse blood, Chinggis and Teppanyaki receive the $1 million tugriks. However, it is too late for Chinggis has gone completely insane and feeds on the blood of his band mates, Anandyn and Yumjaagiyn. Chinggis causes "disruption and resentment" throughout the entire Mongolian music scene. Film ends with Chinggis turning into a horse.
Scene: After having consumed the horse blood for 12 days, Chinggis and his band Teppanyaki hold their first band practice. Anandyn lays down a thick drumbeat; one that Anandyn learned from Jade Wah-oo's influential second album, "Khuushuur On Your Skillet." Yumjaagiyn provides a fuzz-induced bass groove. Chinggis enters spawning a new guitar literally made from the sneeze-proof glass of a buffet cover from the popular Mongolian barbecue food chain Genghis Grill in downtown Ulan Bator. "Woh!" Yumjaagiyn and Anandyn proclaim. Chinggis then begins to tear *expletive* up on his new axe as his band mates look on in awe. His guitar playing is so good that it causes mass blackouts throughout northeast Mongolia. Both band members praise Chinggis for his new-found ability, however they have no idea what he is soon to be capable of...
Cast:
Samuel L. Jackson as Chinggis Rath
John Malkovich as Anandyn Mason
Javier Bardem as Yumjaagiyn Emer
Viggo Mortensen as Angry Owner of Genghis Grill in Downtown Ulan Bator
-Voltaire, Guy Fawkes, Bruce Springsteen.
Plot: Set in present day Mongolia, Chinggis Rath is lead guitarist in Teppanyaki; a musical ensemble prevalent in Mongolia's underground jam band scene. His band wants nothing more than to become Mongolia's next "Nomin Talst" (Mongolia's leading rock/pop/new wave/techno band). However, Chinggis has not been able to keep up with the musical talents of his band mates, Anandyn Mason and Yumjaagiyn Emer. However, Chinggis is notified of a new contest sponsored by leading wool carpet corporation in Mongolia, Erdenet Carpet. Erdenet Carpet is willing to give $1 million tugriks to anyone who can successfully drink horse's blood for thirty days. Chinggis sees this as an opportunity not only to make money, but as the big break his band needs. Chinggis Rath begins drinking the crude blood of Mongolian horses. The venture is hard getting used to, however by Day 10, Chinggis is wailing on his guitar like a jingisukan on a traditional Mongolian barbecue grill. "What magical powers," Chinggis says of the blood. Teppanyaki begins to receive popularity amongst wide ranges of listeners in Mongolia. "We're finally getting the attention as Mongolia's top jam band that we deserve," Anandyn Mason says. "Thanks Chinggis. You're the best," Yumjaagiyn Emer tells him. However, by Day 24, Chinggis begins to feel the full effects of the horse blood. His playing becomes darker...his desire for horse blood is higher in demand...and it's not only horse blood that he yearns for. After thirty days of consuming the horse blood, Chinggis and Teppanyaki receive the $1 million tugriks. However, it is too late for Chinggis has gone completely insane and feeds on the blood of his band mates, Anandyn and Yumjaagiyn. Chinggis causes "disruption and resentment" throughout the entire Mongolian music scene. Film ends with Chinggis turning into a horse.
Scene: After having consumed the horse blood for 12 days, Chinggis and his band Teppanyaki hold their first band practice. Anandyn lays down a thick drumbeat; one that Anandyn learned from Jade Wah-oo's influential second album, "Khuushuur On Your Skillet." Yumjaagiyn provides a fuzz-induced bass groove. Chinggis enters spawning a new guitar literally made from the sneeze-proof glass of a buffet cover from the popular Mongolian barbecue food chain Genghis Grill in downtown Ulan Bator. "Woh!" Yumjaagiyn and Anandyn proclaim. Chinggis then begins to tear *expletive* up on his new axe as his band mates look on in awe. His guitar playing is so good that it causes mass blackouts throughout northeast Mongolia. Both band members praise Chinggis for his new-found ability, however they have no idea what he is soon to be capable of...
Cast:
Samuel L. Jackson as Chinggis Rath
John Malkovich as Anandyn Mason
Javier Bardem as Yumjaagiyn Emer
Viggo Mortensen as Angry Owner of Genghis Grill in Downtown Ulan Bator
-Voltaire, Guy Fawkes, Bruce Springsteen.
Mulan leads 101 Dalmations against Cruella and her army of ten
The good guys:
Mulan
tarzan
101 Dalmations
The Bad Guys:
Cruella
Scar
9 Mongolians (like the HUNS)
Myth: The Mongolians wash themselves in urine.
Scene: In an open field, much like the one in Bambi where there are loads of flowers, the 101 dalmations led by Mulan on tarzan's back, march up the hill. All of a sudden Cruella appears with a yellow stench around her. The camera zooms in and you see a fly flying around her drops dead from the stench surrounding her body. She raises her arms and the 101 dalmations begin to fall on the ground whimpering. The 9 Mongolians following Cruella run around with bags and put the puppies in them. Soon all thats left is Mulan and Tarzan.
Longer Version of the Plot:
Cruella Diville has been watching Mulan and Tarzan train the 101 Dalmations and watches as Mulan teaches them to disguise thier spots. Tarzan teaches them how to swing from trees and how to survive living in a tree house. His family members also help the puppies. However these tactics end up being worthless when Cruella and her Mongolians (similar looking to the Huns in the movie MULAN) show up surrounded by a stench of pee. The heightened sense of smell of the puppies and of Tarzan (because he was raised by monkeys) causes them to lose all the knowledge they had gained in the months leading up to the battle over thier village. Cruella wants to make a coat out of the puppies to try and cover up her stench to attract the leader of the Monglolians, however they all smell so bad that it would not matter. Scar just tags along hoping he can persuade Cruella to marry him and not the leader of the Mongolians. Eventually the Bad guys win which is why this movie cannot be rated G.
"they smell so heavily that one cannot approach them. They wash themselves in urine."
Evita and Selena Gomez.
Mulan
tarzan
101 Dalmations
The Bad Guys:
Cruella
Scar
9 Mongolians (like the HUNS)
Myth: The Mongolians wash themselves in urine.
Scene: In an open field, much like the one in Bambi where there are loads of flowers, the 101 dalmations led by Mulan on tarzan's back, march up the hill. All of a sudden Cruella appears with a yellow stench around her. The camera zooms in and you see a fly flying around her drops dead from the stench surrounding her body. She raises her arms and the 101 dalmations begin to fall on the ground whimpering. The 9 Mongolians following Cruella run around with bags and put the puppies in them. Soon all thats left is Mulan and Tarzan.
Longer Version of the Plot:
Cruella Diville has been watching Mulan and Tarzan train the 101 Dalmations and watches as Mulan teaches them to disguise thier spots. Tarzan teaches them how to swing from trees and how to survive living in a tree house. His family members also help the puppies. However these tactics end up being worthless when Cruella and her Mongolians (similar looking to the Huns in the movie MULAN) show up surrounded by a stench of pee. The heightened sense of smell of the puppies and of Tarzan (because he was raised by monkeys) causes them to lose all the knowledge they had gained in the months leading up to the battle over thier village. Cruella wants to make a coat out of the puppies to try and cover up her stench to attract the leader of the Monglolians, however they all smell so bad that it would not matter. Scar just tags along hoping he can persuade Cruella to marry him and not the leader of the Mongolians. Eventually the Bad guys win which is why this movie cannot be rated G.
"they smell so heavily that one cannot approach them. They wash themselves in urine."
Evita and Selena Gomez.
Ambassador discovers veiled bride was bearded and cross-eyed
I'm not sure if you saw this, but an Arab ambassador sued to get money back from his bride's family after he discovered that she was bearded and cross-eyed. It turns out he never saw her face before he signed a marriage contract and gave her over $85,000 worth of gifts. She wore a full-face veil, and her family showed him pictures of her sister to lure him into the deal.
Who knows, maybe she is a descendant of Genghis Khan.
??
Who knows, maybe she is a descendant of Genghis Khan.
??
Keeping up with the Khans
Cast:
Chinggis Khan: Meryl Streep
Kubilai Khan: Drew Barrymore
Hulagu Khan: Amanda Seyfried
Ali of Egypt: Channing Tatum
The Khan family led the Mongolian military conquests. They were known for their expert bow and arrow skills and distinct mustaches (the two myths involved). The invaded populations assumed that the Khans were strong men when in reality, they were women, led by their grandmother, Chinggis. When Hulagu goes to Egypt to conquer Ali's territory, the Khan's true identity is revealed and they are forced to retreat. No one can believe that women were capable of having mustaches and being such great warriors. Pending love story between Hulagu and Ali...
The revelation would mean drastic changes in people's view on women and gender inequality. "If the Mongol period meant resentment and disruption in key civilizations, it means new opportunity for other peoples." This in regards to women's new status.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Chinggis Khan: Meryl Streep
Kubilai Khan: Drew Barrymore
Hulagu Khan: Amanda Seyfried
Ali of Egypt: Channing Tatum
The Khan family led the Mongolian military conquests. They were known for their expert bow and arrow skills and distinct mustaches (the two myths involved). The invaded populations assumed that the Khans were strong men when in reality, they were women, led by their grandmother, Chinggis. When Hulagu goes to Egypt to conquer Ali's territory, the Khan's true identity is revealed and they are forced to retreat. No one can believe that women were capable of having mustaches and being such great warriors. Pending love story between Hulagu and Ali...
The revelation would mean drastic changes in people's view on women and gender inequality. "If the Mongol period meant resentment and disruption in key civilizations, it means new opportunity for other peoples." This in regards to women's new status.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Baatar: The Iron Hero
Sentence description: In the ultimate struggle between duty and heart, Baatar, the Mongolian Prince must make the most monumental decision of his life...
Starring: Gerard Butler as Genghis Khan (The Mongolian Leader)
Jake Gyllenhaal as Baatar (The Mongolian Prince)
and Mila Kunis as Lucia (Roman Princess)
Myth: Mongolian warriors could hit an apple off a moving horse's back from more than 200 yards away.
Scene: Baatar is finally forced to confront his father in an epic battle to the death. With Lucia watching in the distance safely on her horse, Bataar feels a surge of strength and swings his dagger at his father's horse, knocking Genghis off his horse. With him wounded and Baatar coming closer to kill him, Genghis takes a bow and arrow, concentrates and shoots at nearly, yup, 200 yards away. Baatar, expecting a wound or pain is shocked and dismayed at his fathers missed shot. Suddenly, the shrill cry of Lucia surges through Baatar and as he turns to his fathers face, he realizes that Genghis didnt miss, but actually hit the most painful thing Baatar could ever lose, Lucia.
Longer version: Genghis Khan, leader of the Mongols, tries to invade Rome with his son Baatar and captures the Roman princess, Lucia. Slowly but surely, Baatar and Lucia fall in love. After choosing to protect Lucia from his fathers forces, Genghis Khan is left with no other decision than to fight against his son. In this story of love, war and tragedy comes the tale of two lovers with all odds against them. But is their love strong enough?
-Lucille Ball and KW
2 Men, 1 Woman...The Possibilities
Starring:
Charles Barkrey as Mongorian #1
Shaq as Mongorian #2
Pamera Anderson as Prostitute #1
Megan Fox as Bastard child and Prostitute #2
Myth: The sexual service that Mongorians put their childs through. (Prostitution)
Scene:
Charles Barkley enters eating McNuggets while talking to Dwayne Wade on his T-Mobile Sidekick.
When Charles enters, Shaq is just finishing eating Pamela Anderson.
In the backround, Megan Fox is standing in a voluptuous dress and mourning her mothers death.
Shaq and Charles begin to fight over who is the father of Megan Fox because they both had "relations" with Pamela. To decide the custody, they go to the courts to settle the dispute through a battle royal.
As their fighting, Megan Fox runs away and later arrives in China. She becomes a heroine addict (because China is renown for its heroine use) and sleeps with Zach Galifianakis.
Longer Version of the plot:
"Accordingly, upon the arrival of the caravan of merchants, and as soon as they have set up their tents for the night; those mother who have marriageable daughters conduct them to the place."
Now since the caravans in town, Pamela Anderson bring her bastard child, Megan Fox, to prostitute her out. However, Shaq nor Charles want this. SO Shaq eats Pamela, foreseeing that once she is dead, he can have Megan Fox. However, Charles walks in and disputes his claim to Megan since he to slept with Pamela. They both want Megan and decide to have a battle royal to settle the argument. However, in the end neither win because Megan runs away while they are fighting.
-Morgan Freeman
Charles Barkrey as Mongorian #1
Shaq as Mongorian #2
Pamera Anderson as Prostitute #1
Megan Fox as Bastard child and Prostitute #2
Myth: The sexual service that Mongorians put their childs through. (Prostitution)
Scene:
Charles Barkley enters eating McNuggets while talking to Dwayne Wade on his T-Mobile Sidekick.
When Charles enters, Shaq is just finishing eating Pamela Anderson.
In the backround, Megan Fox is standing in a voluptuous dress and mourning her mothers death.
Shaq and Charles begin to fight over who is the father of Megan Fox because they both had "relations" with Pamela. To decide the custody, they go to the courts to settle the dispute through a battle royal.
As their fighting, Megan Fox runs away and later arrives in China. She becomes a heroine addict (because China is renown for its heroine use) and sleeps with Zach Galifianakis.
Longer Version of the plot:
"Accordingly, upon the arrival of the caravan of merchants, and as soon as they have set up their tents for the night; those mother who have marriageable daughters conduct them to the place."
Now since the caravans in town, Pamela Anderson bring her bastard child, Megan Fox, to prostitute her out. However, Shaq nor Charles want this. SO Shaq eats Pamela, foreseeing that once she is dead, he can have Megan Fox. However, Charles walks in and disputes his claim to Megan since he to slept with Pamela. They both want Megan and decide to have a battle royal to settle the argument. However, in the end neither win because Megan runs away while they are fighting.
-Morgan Freeman
A Mongolian Story
One sentence description: War and love are the cause of conflict for Genghis Khan, two of his daughters, and the villager of a town on China's northern border in 1235, shortly after Genghis Khan defeats the Jin dynasty.
Casting suggestions: Jackie Chan-Genghis Khan
Selena Gomez-Younger daughter of Genghis Khan
Demi Lovato-Older daughter of Genghis Khan
Taylor Lautner-villager
Matthew McConnaughey-Kubilai Khan
Myth: Mongolians could shoot an apple from 200 yards away.
Scene: Genghis Khan has arrived in yet another village looking to take control over it. Locals try to flee from the Mongols but their skills with the ow and arrow are too swift for the locals to get away in time. Emerging from the group of fleeing villagers, moving towards the Mongolians, a villager with a bow and arrow as well as a sword. He is the only one brave enough and ready to take on the approaching enemy.
Plot: Genghis Khan takes over a village in northern China. Looking to marry his oldest daughter(Demi Lovato) off, he chooses the strongest and most powerful man(Taylor Lautner) in the village. The only problem is that when the two daughters are left in the village without knowing about their father's plans, the younger daughter(Selena Gomez) is secretly courted by her sister's future husband. When their father returns and announces that his oldest daughter is to be married, there are objections from both sisters as well as the man caught in the middle. Without their mom, who died giving birth to their younger brother, the sisters have no one to turn to and both feel equally lost. Will loving the same man tear the sisters', previously
inseparable bond, apart or will they be able to overcome this unfortunate challenge?
Quote:"Contacts along China's northern border increaser for several centuries."
This quote would be used at the beginning of the movie when the characters were storyline were being introduced by the narrator.
-Queen Isabella, Mary Queen of Scots, and
Harold & Kumar seek the mustached lady
Sentence description: Two rebels disband from the Mongol army in search of love and adventure.
Starring:
Peter Chao as Genghis Khan
John Cho and Kal Penn as the rebels
Maggie Q as mustache lady
Myth: Mongol women had mustaches
Scene: Cho and Penn leave the army and now must squander through Mongolia in search for mustached women
Longer version: Two rebels leave the army because they are tried of a life without women. During their quest for love and adventure, they get hungry. Cho and Kal decide to go to White Castle to stock up for their long journey ahead. A man at White Castle informs them that in order to find their love they must first go through Genghis Khan himself. He tells them that Khan had a fetish for women with mustaches and he made it so his wives never shaved. And so the story begins.....an asian and an indian versus the Khan empire.
Elizabeth
Elizabeth Release Date: February 12, 2010
Starring:
Logan Lerman as Li Tang
Emma Watson as Elizabeth Aston
Kira Knightly as Sophia Roswell
Jacki Chan as Naranbaatar Tang
Julie Andrews as Charlotte Aston
Colin Firth as Robert Aston
Summary:
It is the early 1200s, and the Mongolians have sparked trading relationships with the West. Young Li Tang (Lerman), a budding warrior and Mongolian leader, is sent on a diplomatic mission to the West, where he meets Elizabeth Aston (Watson). As their relationship blossoms, the two meet in secret, each teaching the other about their way of life. Elizabeth becomes entranced by Li's skill with a bow. They know that, if discovered, they could be torn apart forever by their very different cultures. Elizabeth's friend, Sophia, however, discovers the two, and, out of fear, reveals their love to Elizabeth's strict parents (Andrews and Firth). As Li prepares for his trip home, both he and Elizabeth must come to terms with their emotions and prove to the world that the East and the West can unite as one.
Myth:
Mongolian warriors could hit an apple off a moving horse's back from more than 200 yards away.
Scene:
Charlotte and Robert Aston explain to their daughter why she cannot be with Li:
" 'The Mongols sleep in tents... Some of their women have beards and moustaches.' I will not allow the daughter whom your mother and I have bred as a proper lady to become a savage," Robert said forcefully.
"But Father! Li is not a savage! He has tremendous skill with a bow... He can hit an apple off a moving horse's back from 200 yards away! He is an incredible man whom any woman should count lucky to have as her husband," Elizabeth replied defensively.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Mongol and the Sheep
By Sacagawea and La Reina Sofia
The story is a parody of Beauty and the Beast
One Sentence Description: A beautiful sheep is imprisoned by a lonely Mongol, and the pair fall in love while being entertained by furry hats and bows and arrows that sing and dance.
Casting Suggestions: The movie would be animated so only voice overs are necessary
Sheep: Nikki Blonsky
Mongol: Rob Pattinson
Furry Hat: John Travolta
Bow & Arrow: Christopher Walken
Fortune Teller: Catherine Zeta Jones
Myth: That Mongols descended from sheep.
Scene: A Chinese Fortune Teller tells the Chinese people that the Mongols will overrun them and conquer parts of China, saying that "the Mongol era in world history [will have] two possible results: it [will] cause disruption and resentment." The Fortune Teller says that the only way to stop the Mongols is to rescue the Sheep from the evil Mongol. The Chinese people immediately form a mob and travel to the home of the Mongol and riot outside of it.
Longer Version of the Plot: A lonely Mongol takes an old sheep man captive. His beautiful sheep daughter trades her life for that of her father's and she is held captive by the Mongol man. There, she meets many of the Mongol's possessions, and all of them sing and dance to entertain her. They are led by the Furry Hat and the Bow and Arrow. Eventually the pair fall in love while dancing in a ballroom as the Furry Hat sings (see song lyrics below). The Sheep wears a yellow dress and the Mongol wears a tuxedo. After they fall in love, the Chinese begin to riot, fearing the Mongol take over that could happen if and the Mongol and the Sheep got together. The Mongol is almost killed, but is saved by the Sheep's love, and the pair live on to create a Mongol nation that eventually takes over parts of China.
Lyrics to Mongol and the Sheep (the theme song of the film)
Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly
Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Mongol and the Sheep
The story is a parody of Beauty and the Beast
One Sentence Description: A beautiful sheep is imprisoned by a lonely Mongol, and the pair fall in love while being entertained by furry hats and bows and arrows that sing and dance.
Casting Suggestions: The movie would be animated so only voice overs are necessary
Sheep: Nikki Blonsky
Mongol: Rob Pattinson
Furry Hat: John Travolta
Bow & Arrow: Christopher Walken
Fortune Teller: Catherine Zeta Jones
Myth: That Mongols descended from sheep.
Scene: A Chinese Fortune Teller tells the Chinese people that the Mongols will overrun them and conquer parts of China, saying that "the Mongol era in world history [will have] two possible results: it [will] cause disruption and resentment." The Fortune Teller says that the only way to stop the Mongols is to rescue the Sheep from the evil Mongol. The Chinese people immediately form a mob and travel to the home of the Mongol and riot outside of it.
Longer Version of the Plot: A lonely Mongol takes an old sheep man captive. His beautiful sheep daughter trades her life for that of her father's and she is held captive by the Mongol man. There, she meets many of the Mongol's possessions, and all of them sing and dance to entertain her. They are led by the Furry Hat and the Bow and Arrow. Eventually the pair fall in love while dancing in a ballroom as the Furry Hat sings (see song lyrics below). The Sheep wears a yellow dress and the Mongol wears a tuxedo. After they fall in love, the Chinese begin to riot, fearing the Mongol take over that could happen if and the Mongol and the Sheep got together. The Mongol is almost killed, but is saved by the Sheep's love, and the pair live on to create a Mongol nation that eventually takes over parts of China.
Lyrics to Mongol and the Sheep (the theme song of the film)
Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly
Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Mongol and the Sheep
Fight for the sheep
One sentence description:
Two men coming from opposing families fight for the love of the only sheep left in the world!
Casting suggestions:
The two men: Keenan Thompson & Kal Mitchell
The sheep: Justin Bieber
Empress (sheep owner): Missy Elliott
Baby man-sheep: Brenda Song
Myth:
Mongolians were descended from a man x sheep cross.
Scene:
Keenan and Kal are in an intense samurai fight, where Kal dies and Keenan picks up the sheep and runs off caressing it.
Longer version of the plot:
Keenan and Kal fight for the love of Missy Elliott's sheep. She makes them duel for the love and privilege to be with the sheep and start a Mongolian family / dynasty. The sheep is adorned in jewels to attract the love of her soulmate.
Quote:
"They are designed for marriage, they wear all these ornaments about the neck or other part of the body and she who exhibits the greatest number of them is considered to have attracted the attention of the greatest number of men."
-Benjamin Franklin
In order to make a worse movie than "The Conqueror"
To begin, we need some bad actors:
A Hong as Genghis Khan,
Ethan as the (venerable?) monk,
The First Period class as the Europeans (who all die :-)
Chris Chan and his clones as the chinese (they might die)
Of course, a brief description:
Genghis Khan gets angry and kills everyone.
Myths:
Mongolians pile skulls of their dead...and they stink (according to SP).
Longer Version of the Plot:
So, in the advance of the golden horde, a monastery is destroyed. The sole surviving monk becomes very angry, and during a daytime raid by the Mongols, goes and slaughters Genghis Khan's family. The already-violent Khan then proceeds to advance over much of Europe and Asia (I know, they are in opposite directions), killing everyone in sight. As each city falls to the Horde, the land is bathed in blood. Eventually, Genghis Khan gets old and requests that he is given a banana. The mongolians live happily ever after.
And a scene:
The monk silently enters Genghis Khan's tent while he is out pillaging a city. After a fierce cry, the monk slaughters Genghis' family, though not before cutting off Mrs. Khan's mustache.
MongoRian Movie Pitch by A.Hong
Title: MvR
Tagline: "The Same Year of Our sins, unknown tribes came...we have heard they have captured many countries"
Description: Various Russian Kings must unite to hold off the sudden invasion of the Mongol Hordes, led by Batu Khan.
Cast:
Rade Serbedzija: Mstislav Mstislavich
Jason Statham: Daniel of Galicia
Liam Neeson: Batu Khan
Christian Bale: Yuri II
Summary: Movie starts with typical opening scene, dead Russians scattered over a village, Tarintino-esque amounts of blood splattered all of the ground, etc. Mongols ride around shooting people from the backs of moving horses and generally doing what Mongols do: kill. Russians gather their forces, various kings argue about whose in charge when Yuri II comes up and says he's in charge because he has the biggest stones out of all of the other Russians. Mongols kill more people, Yuri meets up with Batu Khan to discuss "diplomacy" (with Christian Bale threatening Batu Khan in his "Batman" voice) and there's a random love scene with Jason Statham and a Russian peasant women (it's like the scene in Crank). Finally, the Mongols raid the last Russian stronghold and break into Yuri's fortress. Yuri's sitting by himself at a banquet table but when Khan's men step close to him, Yuri kicks the table over, revealing two pistols he had hidden in his lap and cuts the Mongols down in a blaze of gunfire. Khan pulls his sword out, blocks Yuri's bullets and the two fight one on one, with Yuri beating the crap out of Khan. When Yuri is victorious, he comments on how he was unsure if that smell was "because Khan pissed himself or that's how all Mongols smell". End Credits
Mongolian Movie Pitch
Mongolian Movie Pitch
By: Christina Aguilera & Audrey Hepburn
One sentence description: Lau and Chan fight for the one woman without a mustache.
Casting suggestions:
Taylor Lautner (Lau)
Channing Tatum (Chan)
Megan Fox (Ping) [no mustache]
Steve Martin (Ting Young)
Meryl Streep (Sun Young)
Random mustache women: Brittney Snow, Brenda Song, Angelina Jolie, Jessica Biel and Jessica Simpson(Lo)
Myth: Mongolian women have mustaches.
Quote: "Oddly enough some of the women have beards and moustaches"(168).
Scene: Lau goes to Ping's house to ask for her hand in marriage but finds Chan already there. The parents, Ting and Sun Young, propose a contest to decide who gets her hand in marriage.
Longer version of the plot: A crowd of Mongolians invade China, changing the friendship between Chan and Lau forever. Both men fall in love with the same woman, the only Mongolian without a mustache. Both are forced to compete against each other in the ultimate battle. Whoever wins the contest of strength, wit, and bravery will gain the only worthy woman. Neither men succeed when Ping is viciously murdered by Chan's secret Mongolian stalker, Lo, with her shaving razor.
By: Christina Aguilera & Audrey Hepburn
One sentence description: Lau and Chan fight for the one woman without a mustache.
Casting suggestions:
Taylor Lautner (Lau)
Channing Tatum (Chan)
Megan Fox (Ping) [no mustache]
Steve Martin (Ting Young)
Meryl Streep (Sun Young)
Random mustache women: Brittney Snow, Brenda Song, Angelina Jolie, Jessica Biel and Jessica Simpson(Lo)
Myth: Mongolian women have mustaches.
Quote: "Oddly enough some of the women have beards and moustaches"(168).
Scene: Lau goes to Ping's house to ask for her hand in marriage but finds Chan already there. The parents, Ting and Sun Young, propose a contest to decide who gets her hand in marriage.
Longer version of the plot: A crowd of Mongolians invade China, changing the friendship between Chan and Lau forever. Both men fall in love with the same woman, the only Mongolian without a mustache. Both are forced to compete against each other in the ultimate battle. Whoever wins the contest of strength, wit, and bravery will gain the only worthy woman. Neither men succeed when Ping is viciously murdered by Chan's secret Mongolian stalker, Lo, with her shaving razor.
GENGHIS: THE MOTION PICTURE
By Socrates and Jesse James
(with Timothy Leary)
Featuring
-Arnold Schwarzenegger as Genghis Khan
-Jackie Chan as Genghis Khan's Good Buddy (Angry Mongolian with Racist Accent and Screams)
-Jet Li as the Song Emperor
-Hulk Hogan as the Russian Wrestler
-Dev Patel as the Abbassid Caliph
-Morgan Freeman as Narrator
Plot Summary
"Arnold Schwarzenegger and and Jackie Chan join forces to conquer Song China, Russia, and Baghdad. The duo engages in intense action sequences with lots of explosions... and stuff! They defeat helpless little people like that random villager over there. (Hear Jackie Chan and other person screaming) Ouch... too slow, you lose! Ha ha ha! I love my job. Arnold Schwarzenegger is... Genghis: The Motion Picture!" -Morgan Freeman
One Sentence
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jackie Chan go on a worldwide rampage in...Genghis: The Motion Picture!
"A wave of military ventures in the thirteenth century [occurred] under the aegis...of Genghis Khan!" (163)
Myth
Mongols piled the skulls and eyeballs of their enemies in villages to scare people away. The piles were thousands of body parts high; the Mongols kileed hundreds to create the pyramids alone. Of course, Arnold and his good buddy Jackie Chan can get this done in five minutes...
Scene
Arnold Schwarzenegger loads a village with explosives. Jackie Chan lights the fuse too early. As Arnold sees this, he yells, "Head to da CHOPPA!" Jackie Chan then puls out a meat cleaver and yells, "I AM the CHOPPA" as he proceeds to cut villagers in half. Arnold then yells, "Then get to da HORSES!" As the Mongols ride off into the sunset, the camera pans out and the village explodes. As the music plays, Morgan Freeman comments, "That's the way the cookie crumbles."
By Socrates and Jesse James
(with Timothy Leary)
Featuring
-Arnold Schwarzenegger as Genghis Khan
-Jackie Chan as Genghis Khan's Good Buddy (Angry Mongolian with Racist Accent and Screams)
-Jet Li as the Song Emperor
-Hulk Hogan as the Russian Wrestler
-Dev Patel as the Abbassid Caliph
-Morgan Freeman as Narrator
Plot Summary
"Arnold Schwarzenegger and and Jackie Chan join forces to conquer Song China, Russia, and Baghdad. The duo engages in intense action sequences with lots of explosions... and stuff! They defeat helpless little people like that random villager over there. (Hear Jackie Chan and other person screaming) Ouch... too slow, you lose! Ha ha ha! I love my job. Arnold Schwarzenegger is... Genghis: The Motion Picture!" -Morgan Freeman
One Sentence
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jackie Chan go on a worldwide rampage in...Genghis: The Motion Picture!
"A wave of military ventures in the thirteenth century [occurred] under the aegis...of Genghis Khan!" (163)
Myth
Mongols piled the skulls and eyeballs of their enemies in villages to scare people away. The piles were thousands of body parts high; the Mongols kileed hundreds to create the pyramids alone. Of course, Arnold and his good buddy Jackie Chan can get this done in five minutes...
Scene
Arnold Schwarzenegger loads a village with explosives. Jackie Chan lights the fuse too early. As Arnold sees this, he yells, "Head to da CHOPPA!" Jackie Chan then puls out a meat cleaver and yells, "I AM the CHOPPA" as he proceeds to cut villagers in half. Arnold then yells, "Then get to da HORSES!" As the Mongols ride off into the sunset, the camera pans out and the village explodes. As the music plays, Morgan Freeman comments, "That's the way the cookie crumbles."
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Universal Religions
I agree that the main reason universal religions came about during the years 300-600 was because the decline of the strong centralized powers of the Han and Roman empires. During a relatively stable reign, the people of that empire are happier to let things be. They do not need to have as much faith. Instead, they feel they can rely on the government, whether to do good or bad. Since a way is already established, there is no need to break that precedent. However, after the fall of the Roman and Han dynasties, there is a period where people do not have the normal precedents to go by, so instead, they turn to religion as a way to cope with what is happening and a way to try to predict the future. It is because of this following that the years 300-600 are labeled in the history textbook as the time of Universal Religions.
~La Reina Sofía
~La Reina Sofía
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Universal Religion
Religion became a universal part of peoples lives during the time from 300 BC to 600 BC. During this time many things impacted the spread of religion. The main reasons for the spread of religion are the increase in travel, political instability, and the nature of many religions. Due to increased trade that developed from the new city states and the ability to transport goods, many new ideas and religions were spread to area. Through the trade routes people were exposed to ideas and beliefs of foreign countries. They then either adopted this new of thinking or at least proclaimed their refusal to adopt it, therefor spreading more interest in it. Along with the trade routes, the instability of the government in many regions left the people feeling scared and unsure. Many people looked toward religion as a way to find help and answers to their problems. Religion gave people a sense of comfort and security during difficult times. One of the most prominent reasons why the trade routes and political situations were able to act as such larger breeding grounds for religious beliefs is the nature of many religions. Many of the religions that became popular during this time preached about spreading the word of their god and their faith. Once someone became faithful to a religion, the majority of the time they began to spread their faith to others, typically through the trade routes. All of these reasons aided in the spread of Universal Religion.
- Helen of Troy
- Helen of Troy
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