Mongol and the Sheep

By Sacagawea and La Reina Sofia
The story is a parody of Beauty and the Beast

One Sentence Description: A beautiful sheep is imprisoned by a lonely Mongol, and the pair fall in love while being entertained by furry hats and bows and arrows that sing and dance.

Casting Suggestions: The movie would be animated so only voice overs are necessary
Sheep: Nikki Blonsky
Mongol: Rob Pattinson
Furry Hat: John Travolta
Bow & Arrow: Christopher Walken
Fortune Teller: Catherine Zeta Jones

Myth: That Mongols descended from sheep.

Scene: A Chinese Fortune Teller tells the Chinese people that the Mongols will overrun them and conquer parts of China, saying that "the Mongol era in world history [will have] two possible results: it [will] cause disruption and resentment." The Fortune Teller says that the only way to stop the Mongols is to rescue the Sheep from the evil Mongol. The Chinese people immediately form a mob and travel to the home of the Mongol and riot outside of it.

Longer Version of the Plot: A lonely Mongol takes an old sheep man captive. His beautiful sheep daughter trades her life for that of her father's and she is held captive by the Mongol man. There, she meets many of the Mongol's possessions, and all of them sing and dance to entertain her. They are led by the Furry Hat and the Bow and Arrow. Eventually the pair fall in love while dancing in a ballroom as the Furry Hat sings (see song lyrics below). The Sheep wears a yellow dress and the Mongol wears a tuxedo. After they fall in love, the Chinese begin to riot, fearing the Mongol take over that could happen if and the Mongol and the Sheep got together. The Mongol is almost killed, but is saved by the Sheep's love, and the pair live on to create a Mongol nation that eventually takes over parts of China.

Lyrics to Mongol and the Sheep (the theme song of the film)
Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly
Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Mongol and the Sheep

Fight for the sheep

One sentence description:

Two men coming from opposing families fight for the love of the only sheep left in the world!

Casting suggestions:

The two men: Keenan Thompson & Kal Mitchell

The sheep: Justin Bieber

Empress (sheep owner): Missy Elliott

Baby man-sheep: Brenda Song

Myth:

Mongolians were descended from a man x sheep cross.

Scene:

Keenan and Kal are in an intense samurai fight, where Kal dies and Keenan picks up the sheep and runs off  caressing it.

Longer version of the plot:

Keenan and Kal fight for the love of Missy Elliott's sheep.  She makes them duel for the love and privilege to be with the sheep and start a Mongolian family / dynasty.  The sheep is adorned in jewels to attract the love of her soulmate.  

Quote:

"They are designed for marriage, they wear all these ornaments about the neck or other part of the body and she who exhibits the greatest number of them is considered to have attracted the attention of the greatest number of men."

-Benjamin Franklin

In order to make a worse movie than "The Conqueror"

To begin, we need some bad actors:

A Hong as Genghis Khan,

Ethan as the (venerable?) monk,

The First Period class as the Europeans (who all die :-)

Chris Chan and his clones as the chinese (they might die)

Of course, a brief description:

Genghis Khan gets angry and kills everyone.

Myths:

Mongolians pile skulls of their dead...and they stink (according to SP).

Longer Version of the Plot:

So, in the advance of the golden horde, a monastery is destroyed. The sole surviving monk becomes very angry, and during a daytime raid by the Mongols, goes and slaughters Genghis Khan's family. The already-violent Khan then proceeds to advance over much of Europe and Asia (I know, they are in opposite directions), killing everyone in sight. As each city falls to the Horde, the land is bathed in blood. Eventually, Genghis Khan gets old and requests that he is given a banana. The mongolians live happily ever after.

And a scene:

The monk silently enters Genghis Khan's tent while he is out pillaging a city. After a fierce cry, the monk slaughters Genghis' family, though not before cutting off Mrs. Khan's mustache.

MongoRian Movie Pitch by A.Hong

Title: MvR
Tagline: "The Same Year of Our sins, unknown tribes came...we have heard they have captured many countries"
Description: Various Russian Kings must unite to hold off the sudden invasion of the Mongol Hordes, led by Batu Khan.
Cast:
Rade Serbedzija: Mstislav Mstislavich
Jason Statham: Daniel of Galicia
Liam Neeson: Batu Khan
Christian Bale: Yuri II

Summary: Movie starts with typical opening scene, dead Russians scattered over a village, Tarintino-esque amounts of blood splattered all of the ground, etc. Mongols ride around shooting people from the backs of moving horses and generally doing what Mongols do: kill. Russians gather their forces, various kings argue about whose in charge when Yuri II comes up and says he's in charge because he has the biggest stones out of all of the other Russians. Mongols kill more people, Yuri meets up with Batu Khan to discuss "diplomacy" (with Christian Bale threatening Batu Khan in his "Batman" voice) and there's a random love scene with Jason Statham and a Russian peasant women (it's like the scene in Crank). Finally, the Mongols raid the last Russian stronghold and break into Yuri's fortress. Yuri's sitting by himself at a banquet table but when Khan's men step close to him, Yuri kicks the table over, revealing two pistols he had hidden in his lap and cuts the Mongols down in a blaze of gunfire. Khan pulls his sword out, blocks Yuri's bullets and the two fight one on one, with Yuri beating the crap out of Khan. When Yuri is victorious, he comments on how he was unsure if that smell was "because Khan pissed himself or that's how all Mongols smell". End Credits

Mongolian Movie Pitch

Mongolian Movie Pitch
By: Christina Aguilera & Audrey Hepburn

One sentence description: Lau and Chan fight for the one woman without a mustache.

Casting suggestions:
Taylor Lautner (Lau)
Channing Tatum (Chan)
Megan Fox (Ping) [no mustache]
Steve Martin (Ting Young)
Meryl Streep (Sun Young)
Random mustache women: Brittney Snow, Brenda Song, Angelina Jolie, Jessica Biel and Jessica Simpson(Lo)

Myth: Mongolian women have mustaches.

Quote: "Oddly enough some of the women have beards and moustaches"(168).

Scene: Lau goes to Ping's house to ask for her hand in marriage but finds Chan already there. The parents, Ting and Sun Young, propose a contest to decide who gets her hand in marriage.

Longer version of the plot: A crowd of Mongolians invade China, changing the friendship between Chan and Lau forever. Both men fall in love with the same woman, the only Mongolian without a mustache. Both are forced to compete against each other in the ultimate battle. Whoever wins the contest of strength, wit, and bravery will gain the only worthy woman. Neither men succeed when Ping is viciously murdered by Chan's secret Mongolian stalker, Lo, with her shaving razor.

GENGHIS: THE MOTION PICTURE
By Socrates and Jesse James
(with Timothy Leary)


Featuring
-Arnold Schwarzenegger as Genghis Khan
-Jackie Chan as Genghis Khan's Good Buddy (Angry Mongolian with Racist Accent and Screams)
-Jet Li as the Song Emperor
-Hulk Hogan as the Russian Wrestler
-Dev Patel as the Abbassid Caliph
-Morgan Freeman as Narrator

Plot Summary
"Arnold Schwarzenegger and and Jackie Chan join forces to conquer Song China, Russia, and Baghdad. The duo engages in intense action sequences with lots of explosions... and stuff! They defeat helpless little people like that random villager over there. (Hear Jackie Chan and other person screaming) Ouch... too slow, you lose! Ha ha ha! I love my job. Arnold Schwarzenegger is... Genghis: The Motion Picture!" -Morgan Freeman

One Sentence
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jackie Chan go on a worldwide rampage in...Genghis: The Motion Picture!
"A wave of military ventures in the thirteenth century [occurred] under the aegis...of Genghis Khan!" (163)

Myth
Mongols piled the skulls and eyeballs of their enemies in villages to scare people away. The piles were thousands of body parts high; the Mongols kileed hundreds to create the pyramids alone. Of course, Arnold and his good buddy Jackie Chan can get this done in five minutes...

Scene
Arnold Schwarzenegger loads a village with explosives. Jackie Chan lights the fuse too early. As Arnold sees this, he yells, "Head to da CHOPPA!" Jackie Chan then puls out a meat cleaver and yells, "I AM the CHOPPA" as he proceeds to cut villagers in half. Arnold then yells, "Then get to da HORSES!" As the Mongols ride off into the sunset, the camera pans out and the village explodes. As the music plays, Morgan Freeman comments, "That's the way the cookie crumbles."

Universal Religions

I agree that the main reason universal religions came about during the years 300-600 was because the decline of the strong centralized powers of the Han and Roman empires. During a relatively stable reign, the people of that empire are happier to let things be. They do not need to have as much faith. Instead, they feel they can rely on the government, whether to do good or bad. Since a way is already established, there is no need to break that precedent. However, after the fall of the Roman and Han dynasties, there is a period where people do not have the normal precedents to go by, so instead, they turn to religion as a way to cope with what is happening and a way to try to predict the future. It is because of this following that the years 300-600 are labeled in the history textbook as the time of Universal Religions.

~La Reina Sofía

Universal Religion

Religion became a universal part of peoples lives during the time from 300 BC to 600 BC. During this time many things impacted the spread of religion. The main reasons for the spread of religion are the increase in travel, political instability, and the nature of many religions. Due to increased trade that developed from the new city states and the ability to transport goods, many new ideas and religions were spread to area. Through the trade routes people were exposed to ideas and beliefs of foreign countries. They then either adopted this new of thinking or at least proclaimed their refusal to adopt it, therefor spreading more interest in it. Along with the trade routes, the instability of the government in many regions left the people feeling scared and unsure. Many people looked toward religion as a way to find help and answers to their problems. Religion gave people a sense of comfort and security during difficult times. One of the most prominent reasons why the trade routes and political situations were able to act as such larger breeding grounds for religious beliefs is the nature of many religions. Many of the religions that became popular during this time preached about spreading the word of their god and their faith. Once someone became faithful to a religion, the majority of the time they began to spread their faith to others, typically through the trade routes. All of these reasons aided in the spread of Universal Religion.

- Helen of Troy

Knights v. Samurai

Knights & Samurai Links

Knights of Ni: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhRUe-gz690&feature=related

Monty Python, The Annoying Peasant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAaWvVFERVA&feature=related

Lego Feudal System: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lts_1HSOQhY&feature=related

A BBC Series on martial arts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9HR7TTOReE

Rashomon trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCZ9TguVOIA&feature=related

The Last Samurai montage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_Sag494lhI&feature=related

Monty Python, She’s a Witch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJFA6uEfUlM

King Arthur Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N6pZX0sDAk

Samurai Pizza Cats: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDr89sjYJP4

Mythbusters: Can Ninjas Walk on Water: http://mythbustersresults.com/episode78

Spike TV: Deadliest warrior: http://www.spike.com/show/31082

1453: The Fall of Constantinople

As envisioned by a student in another AP World class....

Tournament Results, Pd 1

The Multiple choice tournament began this morning in period 1. The Thundercats were in the lead, briefly, due to their ability to identify the promotion of Confucian teaching as something Shi Huangdi did NOT do, but they got tripped up by the Nestorian view of Jesus. They live to fight another day, and every team in the class, including the Nixon Administration, remains tied at 5.

Unification

Religion as we see it today was developed by the need for unification among the people who lived where the religion was born. At the time of the formation of many of these religions, there was no set ruler or emperor. This specifically pertains to christianity. Since there was no clear ruler after the time of the Roman and Byzantine Empires, the people of Europe and even places such as Africa and the Middle East needed something to unify them. They found this unification in Christianity, which brought together the people of all these places through faith and belief that there was a wonderful place that good, virtuous people would be rewarded with after their departure from the Earth. Christianity brought people together locally because the churches not only as places of worship, but as social environments for the community.

-Aristotle

Why Universal Religion?

Religion took control throughout the world between 300-600 C.E. due to extensive trading. Intercontinental trade routes were vast and ran from China to the Mediterranean. This helped move many religions throughout the world and to spread faster than ever before. Merchants picked up religions on their journeys and passed it on to the next people they came across.

Jesse James

Why Universal Religion?

Why Religion Became Universal

The more recent religions were the ones that became universal because they emerged during a time of political turmoil. It must be noted that during the time that the religions started to become more universal, both the Han and Roman empires, then the two most powerful nations in the world, collapsed. Naturally, people started to lose faith in the stability and power of their governments and turned to the immutable divinities of religions like Christianity and Buddhism. As more people became religious, those in power realized that if they wanted to make their reign appear to be more legitimate, they should claim that the entity people were worshipping endorsed them. To do this, they created giant statues and churches to show their alliance with these deities and forces. Combine this trend with the fact that people and ideas were moving constantly along the Silk Road, and religions became universal.
-Socrates

Whats religion?

The rise of religion was mainly due to a lack of structure during the period of 300-600 CE. Without any true government to protect and serve the people, the inhabitants had to find something to help them struggle through this tough time period. This is why they turned to religion and why religion grew so prominent. Religion have people structure, like the caste system, and allowed people to live their lives with order.

Morgan Freeman

universal religion

with the falling empires and no declared power,people were in need of a structure or something that they could guide by. religion created that sense of structure for them by giving them rules to abide by and limits. they accepted the spread of religion because it wasn't as strict as a defined ruler,but at the same time religion created a universal goal that they could use to discipline themselves in the way that a government/ruler would.

-Marilyn Monroe

Religion

From 300-600 CE there was a huge universalizing of religion because after the fall of the Han and Roman empires people needed structure to live by. Religion filled the void of a lack of an empire. People wanted order. It is also in combination with the fact that people wanted to be hopeful and believe in something. In the stressful time of not having an empire to live under people wanted to turn to religion to feel like there was something good. It was also an easy way to characterize large groups of people that had no other way to identify themselves due to lack of no empire.

-Malcolm X

After the fall of the Han and Roman dynasties, new religions developed and spread throughout different areas because there was no strong centralized government or ruler. Religion provided structure and people became united through religion by sharing common beliefs.
britney spears

With the fall of the Roman and Han Empires, structure was needed to fill the void in people's lives. Thomas Hobbs believed that humanity as individuals were too poorly suited to govern themselves. Religion gave people a way and a guide on how to live their lives. They didn't have to make the decisions about right and wrong, and had an ultimate goal to base their life off of.

Vlad Putin