Title: MvR
Tagline: "The Same Year of Our sins, unknown tribes came...we have heard they have captured many countries"
Description: Various Russian Kings must unite to hold off the sudden invasion of the Mongol Hordes, led by Batu Khan.
Cast:
Rade Serbedzija: Mstislav Mstislavich
Jason Statham: Daniel of Galicia
Liam Neeson: Batu Khan
Christian Bale: Yuri II
Summary: Movie starts with typical opening scene, dead Russians scattered over a village, Tarintino-esque amounts of blood splattered all of the ground, etc. Mongols ride around shooting people from the backs of moving horses and generally doing what Mongols do: kill. Russians gather their forces, various kings argue about whose in charge when Yuri II comes up and says he's in charge because he has the biggest stones out of all of the other Russians. Mongols kill more people, Yuri meets up with Batu Khan to discuss "diplomacy" (with Christian Bale threatening Batu Khan in his "Batman" voice) and there's a random love scene with Jason Statham and a Russian peasant women (it's like the scene in Crank). Finally, the Mongols raid the last Russian stronghold and break into Yuri's fortress. Yuri's sitting by himself at a banquet table but when Khan's men step close to him, Yuri kicks the table over, revealing two pistols he had hidden in his lap and cuts the Mongols down in a blaze of gunfire. Khan pulls his sword out, blocks Yuri's bullets and the two fight one on one, with Yuri beating the crap out of Khan. When Yuri is victorious, he comments on how he was unsure if that smell was "because Khan pissed himself or that's how all Mongols smell". End Credits
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