GENGHIS: THE MOTION PICTURE
By Socrates and Jesse James
(with Timothy Leary)


Featuring
-Arnold Schwarzenegger as Genghis Khan
-Jackie Chan as Genghis Khan's Good Buddy (Angry Mongolian with Racist Accent and Screams)
-Jet Li as the Song Emperor
-Hulk Hogan as the Russian Wrestler
-Dev Patel as the Abbassid Caliph
-Morgan Freeman as Narrator

Plot Summary
"Arnold Schwarzenegger and and Jackie Chan join forces to conquer Song China, Russia, and Baghdad. The duo engages in intense action sequences with lots of explosions... and stuff! They defeat helpless little people like that random villager over there. (Hear Jackie Chan and other person screaming) Ouch... too slow, you lose! Ha ha ha! I love my job. Arnold Schwarzenegger is... Genghis: The Motion Picture!" -Morgan Freeman

One Sentence
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jackie Chan go on a worldwide rampage in...Genghis: The Motion Picture!
"A wave of military ventures in the thirteenth century [occurred] under the aegis...of Genghis Khan!" (163)

Myth
Mongols piled the skulls and eyeballs of their enemies in villages to scare people away. The piles were thousands of body parts high; the Mongols kileed hundreds to create the pyramids alone. Of course, Arnold and his good buddy Jackie Chan can get this done in five minutes...

Scene
Arnold Schwarzenegger loads a village with explosives. Jackie Chan lights the fuse too early. As Arnold sees this, he yells, "Head to da CHOPPA!" Jackie Chan then puls out a meat cleaver and yells, "I AM the CHOPPA" as he proceeds to cut villagers in half. Arnold then yells, "Then get to da HORSES!" As the Mongols ride off into the sunset, the camera pans out and the village explodes. As the music plays, Morgan Freeman comments, "That's the way the cookie crumbles."